Dear Republican Party,
I feel like I should talk to you about our relationship and where it is going. When I first met you there were some things I liked about you, but there were some elements of your personality that made me nervous (subversive racism, mild anti-intellectualism, neoconservative international paternalism, uncomfortableness with change etc.). Despite your faults I was attracted to your power and charisma. I thought your ability to accomplish meaningful goals set you apart from other potential suitors. I was deceived. Recently, I’ve noticed a disturbing shift in your personality and your behavior. You’ve started hanging with a crowd that makes me uncomfortable. You have become a party of contrarianism without providing viable alternatives. You have shut yourself off to compromise and meaningful discourse. Due to the way you’ve been behaving, I don’t feel like we can continue to foster a healthy relationship. You used to be genial, optimistic, and inclusive. You’ve marginalized yourself, allowing fifteen to twenty percent of the population to dictate your message. Rather than solving problems and proposing an alternative to progressive policy you’ve taken to throwing tantrums. You’ve shouted yourself out of the public discourse. You’ve become the party of angry old white men. I don’t really dig the whole impotent rage thing. I’m sorry; I just don’t think we have a future together. Don’t get me wrong, there are parts of your personality (or what used to be a part of your personality) I still like — Social Security reform, deficit control, the right to bear arms (within reason) — and I still think some of your friends are pretty cool (Lindsey Graham, Susan Collins, Olympia Snowe, that guy from Massachusetts who used to be a nude model) but we don’t have very much in common anymore; we’ve drifted. Maybe it’s not you, it’s me. I just don’t think epistemic closure is my thing. I guess what I’m saying is that I think we should see other people; we should definitely still be friends but I don’t really see this going anywhere. Anyway, Republican Party, I wish you the best, I just don’t think we’re right for each other. Maybe one of us will change later on and we can try this thing again but I just don’t see you in the way I used to. I know this hurts but it’s for the best. Someday maybe you’ll find somebody a little less reasonable, a little more angry, and I’ll find somebody who actually makes sense.